25 Letters

Friday, September 09, 2005

Quick Update

Hi! Lots has been going on in my life, and I haven't had a chance to blog. So, here's a quick update.

1 - I'm going on a cruise on Sunday! I can't wait - it's the first real vacation of the year and I've never been. Going with family and friends (there's 12 of us) and I am so excited I can't sit still. The last minute details are crowding in and nearly killin' me, but it will be SO worth it. On a side note, we're going to get to go scuba diving in the Grand Caymen Islands…look for incredible pictures in about a week and a half.

2 - I've begun the process of looking for a new job. The position I have right now is temporary, and the attorney that is replacing me started this week. I'll spend September training her, and then will need to have something lined up by October. Please keep this in your prayers - I don't know if I want to stay in politics, but it's where all my experience is in. I'm also looking to keep a somewhat normal schedule - for the first time in my life I have priorities other than work and I've kinda enjoyed having a life after work these past couple of months. So, I don't have a lot of direction and am open to many different possibilities. Thanks for your prayers.

3 - David and I had our 3 month-aversary last week and it was GREAT. I got my first dozen red roses - they were waiting at the table when we were seated at the restaurant. It totally blew me out of the water, and I had a GREAT TIME. We covet your prayers - we want to continue to seek God's leading and not miss direction from Him because we get lazy. Look for pics of the roses in the next week (because of the craziness of getting ready for vacation, I haven't been able to get the pics downloaded).

I'll be silent for the next week, but know that I'm soaking up the Carribean sun, and loving every minute of it!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Ways to make a difference

I was feeling this morning that I am very far away from our national crisis and that I was in the only major city in Texas who wasn't receiving and housing victims from the hurricane…so there wasn't any way for me to help. Then I found out that our Red Cross shelter is housing victims that were able to get to Austin, but can no longer afford to live in a hotel. I found out that our food bank is accepting donations for the victims and will need help to sort and get ready to send. I found out there are ways for me to make a difference even if I can't go to Lousiana to help.

I can make a difference - YOU can make a difference - no matter where you are. I have included some links below.

http://www.austinfoodbank.org/help.php?page=about_donating

http://arc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=ntld_main (red cross)

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/USNSAHome.htm

BULK Items Needed Include:industrial-sized nonperishable food, bottled water, new underwear and socks, diapers, baby wipes, work gloves, plastic gloves, baby formula, hand sanitizer, insect repellant, personal toiletries, i.e. toothpaste, deodorant, soap, etc. flash lights. (requests from Salvation Army)

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

As the whole world watches, I'm watching. Now that the storm is over, most thought the worst is over. But the water is rising, and thousands of people are stranded. Those who made it through the storm now face extreme flooding, complete and utter damage to their homes, and possible loss of life due to the after effects - not even the storm itself.

All of a sudden this is really close to home. I'm supposed to be in New Orleans in two weeks. If this storm had been two weeks later, I, my friends and my family would be stuck somewhere. Where would we be? In a hotel, the Superdome, or a rooftop somewhere?

While little things seem so big in my life sometimes, all of a sudden, I see them in perspective, and can suddenly count my blessings. My family and loved ones are safe and healthy, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and fresh water to drink. I have air conditioning and a bed to sleep in. I am blessed.

My prayers go out to my fellow Americans and all those in New Orleans and on the Gulf Coast that were hit by this storm. I am praying that God will be able to use this in your life for good, that you would be able to make it to a safe place. I am praying that you will be able to find your loved ones and that you will be able to, in turn, help those even less fortunate than yourselves. May God keep you safe - you who are risking your life to save the lives of the stranded.

May God bless you, and God's speed. May God bless America.

Monday, August 29, 2005

My “reality” week

I decided yesterday that the last week has been my reality week. It hasn't been terrible, but neither has it been fun. I've remembered some stuff about me, both good and bad, and am working to deal with situations in a Godly manner. Easier said than done, that's for sure.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an independent person. My brothers love to push my buttons, and I know that they're itching for a good fight when a comment like, "I think that a regular guy could beat a professional woman at her sport" comes out of one of their mouths (that particular conversation, btw, was quite interesting and very heated ). But I know that I can be independent and still be under my God given authority. I know that because of painful mistakes and lessons that I have learned in the past 10 years. Thankfully, my parents never gave up on me, and slowly but surely, I learned the delicate balance.

As I'm almost three months into this relationship with David, God is reminding me of my shortcomings. I'm realizing that I am going to have to revisit this part of me, especially since I've been an independent adult in the adult world for at least 5 years. I'm used to doing things on a whim, or thinking about them from my view point and coming to a conclusion, knowing that they will only affect me. I'm used to making decisions and being responsible for my actions, knowing that responsibility falls solely on my shoulders.

As I have discovered the past few weeks, this is no longer the case. No longer do decisions that directly affect me only affect me. No longer am I the only person with an opinion in these situations. Not only that, but knowing that this time of my life is a practice ground for the future, I must completely reevaluate the way I go about things.

This has been one of my struggles this week. How do I deal with an issue that I might disagree with David on, that he feels strongly about, and that, in the whole scheme of things, isn't a big deal (except that it is to me)? How do I go about making sure that he knows my opinion and understands it, while making sure that I understand him and place value on what he thinks? Does this make sense?

I guess I'm in the awkward phase of transitioning from being a completely single and independent person to being half of a couple who looks at things together and considers not only the other person, but also their opinion in the decision being made. On top of that, I want to practice the biblical roles that we might play someday - knowing that giving into someone when I have a strong opinion about something because I KNOW that's what God wants me to do will be a constant struggle with my flesh.

When I realized this earlier this week, I kinda flipped out. I am considering giving someone the "control" over me that only my parents have had previously, and they were given that control - I didn't offer it. It scared me - am I really willing to give someone (no matter how wonderful he is) the ability to override decisions or have control of my life that no one else has besides me?

When I woke up one morning, the logical side of me was working. "Noell, nothing is really going to change. Right now, you are the ultimate decision maker for your life, but who's really in control? You? No way, God is. If you give David that role (someday, not now…no one freak out ), God will still be in control of your life - you just won't have the luxury of always feeling like you're in control." I realized it was true, but it didn't make the prospect any less scary. I guess I'm more of a control freak in some ways than I thought.

I won't go into much detail, but that's not the only lesson that has been had the past few days. I'm learning that vulnerability in relationships is necessary, fun, and not fun all in the same breath. I'm learning that relationships are hard work and that emotions are rarely logical. I'm learning that I can be frustrating…even when that's exactly what I'm trying not to be (not that this surprises most of you). But now I know first hand that this hard work is worth it…worth the joy this relationship brings me, the lessons it teaches me, and the experiences that I have had in the process.

I'm still getting to know this man, and I have yet to find something that scares me about him. Ironically, everything I've found that scares me is something in or about myself.

Don't take this blog the wrong way, I don't think men are better than women or have better decision making abilities. I don't think there's a hierarchy in relationships, or that men should be dominant and women should be quiet and meek and mild (not that clarification is needed if you know me, but…just in case you were confused ). I do believe, however, that there are God given roles that are equal in importance that play on our natural strengths and require different skill sets and abilities. That's what I'm working toward - making sure that I understand and strive to be what God wants me to be in this relationship.

I'd be happy for you to comment and I hope all of this makes sense.

Scuba

I was noticing that I haven't posted in a while. I'm sorry - I'm a slacker. There have been several reasons for this…not excuses, just reasons. One of the things that I've done since last posting is become a certified Open Water Diver - I can scuba dive!

We (David, Dominic and I) took a class for two weeks (two nights a week for 5 hrs) and then ended up at Lake Travis for 2 days last weekend to finish up and really scuba. It was a lot of fun - I was kinda worried for several reasons. One, I don't like water that I can't see in - and Lake Travis is definitely GREEN. Two, the only other experience I've had with going underwater is snorkeling, and I had difficulties with the pressure on my ears. But our instructor was GREAT and worked with me from Day 1 to make sure that I wouldn't have any problems…and I didn't! The third thing I was somewhat worried about was being underwater so far and something happening…but part of the class was to teach us how to get up and get up fast if anything happened. So that gave me a bit of confidence in that area, knowing that I had the tools to deal with a situation, should it occur.
Scuba is the weirdest feeling ever - probably the closest thing to weightlessness that you can experience here on this planet. The crazy thing is to achieve that feeling, you put 40ish pounds of gear on! The air tank, your BC (vest that fills with air and holds your tank and other gear), regulator (what you breathe with) weights to keep you down, fins, booties, mask, snorkel, a wet suit if you want it…and I wanted it. The lake isn't cold at all - at least for the first 30-40 feet, but at about 40 feet, you hit the thermocline and the water drops about 10 degrees. The cool thing is that it is a distinct difference - you can float in the warm water and put your hand down straight and it be 10 degrees colder. Crazy! The other cool thing is that the water is much clearer down there. Visibility was about 6-8 feet until you got down to the colder water, and it was probably at least 10-12 feet there. Still not very visable, but MUCH better than above.

The last day at Lake Travis, we fed the fish - Vienna Sausages! It was crazy, they went nuts. Apparently this is a normal thing for teachers to do with their students so the fish hang out at these platforms that have been built for instruction (20-30 feet underwater). When we started feeding, we were instantly surrounded by fish. Mostly perch, but a huge catfish and bass came around for some food. David got an underwater cover for his camera, so you can see the pics on my gallery - http://www.westtxrose.com/gallery . They're crazy.
It was a lot of fun - I'm looking forward to swimming in water that you can see forever in - the green stuff is just not quite as fun. Less than two weeks and we'll be in the Caribean…Lord willin' and Katrina doesn't totally disable New Orleans!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Gallery!

Go see my gallery! I'll work to get all my pics up there, but there's pics from Ben and Beth's wedding a couple of weekends ago. It's http://www.westtxrose.net/gallery

And…feel free to comment…I dont know if anyone's listening…cause noone is commenting. Sad, I know. I know that I'm right a lot, but not ALL the time. Seriously.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

The big steak

Monday was our date night for this week, and I got to set the schedule. Yes, it is kind of weird, but David has done such a great job and I haven't had to make ANY decisions on previous date nights - I thought it would be fun to plan. Besides, I couldn't convince him I was ok with dinner and a movie - that it wasn't slacking to go back to the basics. So…I picked dinner and a movie.

When I asked what he was feeling like for dinner, he told me he'd been craving a baked potato. Hm. Thanks. LOTS of help. The best baked potatoes I could think of lived at steakhouses…so that's what I picked. Acutally, I gave him a choice of several, including County Line. When we got there, the special was a 2lb steak - yes TWO POUNDS of beef. Because it was $5 more than a 12oz Ribeye, we decided to split it.

Oh my goodness. We took a pic of the steak because it was so big! And man, was it good. It took care of two full meals for two of us - crazy.

Oh, by the way, the movie was Must Love Dogs - cute…kinda cheezy at times…but still cute.

Yet another great date. The only shadow was that I realized Ash was leaving in less than a week…and what that would actually be like. But that's another blog all in itself.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Favorite Pic

So I've never posted this picture, and I think it's still my favorite so far. It was a self portrait taken on our first date - and I really like it.

BTW, we're up to 4 dates now, and our 2nd month-iversary is coming up! Crazy, huh?! Can you believe it? I can't.

Drama, drama, drama!

So I've been wondering lately…is everything a big deal to every girl? I don't know if you know this, but I seem to be a magnet for drama. Yep, I know this is a big surprise to you…but I am. Thankfully, I'm usually not in the middle of the drama except by reason of association…but I'm involved none-the-less. And come to think of it, it's not always girls. Guys can be just as bad.

What do I take from this? I am working to make sure that I don't blow things out of proportion, to keep my feelings off my shoulders, and to take time to think about talking to someone if I feel it's necessary.

Words can't be taken back, and they do hurt more than sticks and stones. Bruises and cuts heal but emotional wounds can fester for a very, very long time.

James 3 says:
"Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh."

It's a hard lesson, and usually learned by mistakes.

Lord, put a guard over my mouth, and help me think before I speak. Give me the courage and humility to apologize when I mess up, and the grace to forgive others when they do. Help me learn from other's mistakes and strive to become more like You each day.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Wow

So, how does this boy continue to like me - even after spending hours talking to me about something that he doesn't see as a big deal, yet I'm flipping out about? Don't get me wrong, I don't understand and I'm definitely not complaining…I just don't understand. It boggles my mind that he can look at me, smile and say "I like you a lot" RIGHT after dealing with my emotional craziness!

I have asked God to show me aspects of Him through David…parts of God that I don't take notice of…or taken a part of. This week, I've seen mirrored in him God's love for me. Why does God look at me, smile, love, and completely accept me after I've spent hours, days and even sometimes weeks complaining and making a big deal out of things that will have no meaning in even a week?! God's unconditional love - it boggles my mind. David's unconditional like - his complete acceptance of who I am (ALL OF ME…even the annoying girly parts!) - is a tiny reminder of the awesome, unfathomable love of Jesus.

Wow.

Friday, July 15, 2005

July 4th Weekend

As many of you know, I spent July 4th weekend in Lousiana with David and his family at his grandparents lakehouse.

It was a lot of fun, kinda crazy, but wasn't much different than our family get togethers. Lots of noise, lots of people, lots of activity…lots of opinions.
We got there and went straight to the church for their annual bbq and fireworks. Saturday was filled with hanging out, going to peach and blueberry farms (the peaches were gone and the blueberry farm was closed for the 4th…but it was still a great time), and to a Southern Living Idea Home. Have you ever been to one of those? I didn't even know they existed, and when I heard about it, I figured it would have all the latest technilogical gadgets, but it was all decorative. I think my favorite was the master bathroom, whirlpool bathtub and all.
On the way back we picked up a SLEW of fireworks, and proceeded to shoot them ALL off. Let me just say that I've decided that Brian is kinda a pyro…well, so is David, but Brian's a bit crazier. It was a lot of fun though, I don't think I've actually shot off a firework in the past 5 years…it was fun.
Sunday was church, dinner and an afternoon of being lazy…and shopping. That was kinda fun, but I kinda felt sorry for Dave - we went with his mom, aunt and grandmother - so it was definitely shopping with 4 women. It was fun for me because Debi and Sandy (her sister) remind me a lot of Steph and I - in the way they relate to each other…made me smile. We got ice cream so that helped make it bearable for Dave…I think…
On the 4th itself, we had a HUGE breakfast, hung out and then headed home. As we were about to leave, Sandy and Debi discovered that their dogs had mated - so instead of Yorkie puppies, they have Porkys! Yorkie + Pomeranian = Porkys. Hilarious!
The one downside to the whole weekend was my headache. Saturday morning I woke up with a HUGE headache that wouldn't go away. I don't know if it was allergies or the smoke from the fireworks on Friday night, but oh my goodness. I took excedrin and clariden and ibprofin. It dulled the pain, but until we drove back into Texas, the headache remained. Ugh. It made for one less-than-social Noelley.

Oh well, even with the headache, I think his family likes me…
All in all, it was fun. I got to see a part of David I haven't seen, got to know his family better, and got to spend the weekend with him. What more could I ask?

***Pic of Noell and david on the 4th

The best date ever…well, at least…yet!

Ok, so when you're as busy as we are, you don't get to have dates as often as you like. Don't get me wrong, we've managed to squeeze a date night in each week - even if it's dinner before meeting up with others, dinner after respective meetings, dinner after…well, i think you get the point. It's amazing that I haven't gained a ton of weight with all of the eating out we've done.

But this week, we got a full, real date night. I was excited. He told me to wear casual clothes but that we would be inside. So, I definitely wore my new pink flip flops (thanks Ash!)and a pink scarf belt. When he picked me up and told me that he was going to take me to shoot my gun (which I had yet to shoot), I was thrilled. I have a conceal carry license and own a 38 Special Revolver, but haven't ever carried it because I hadn't gotten the change to practice…and didn't think that was the wisest idea.

As we were walking into the indoor range, I had to laugh at myself in all my pink. I doubt that I was the only one laughing. After shooting for an hour, my poor hand was quite tired. I've included pics of us with all the "gear" on - ear and eye protective wear - and pics of our best targets. He rented a glock and it's definitely easier to shoot than my gun. Because my gun is a single action - the trigger pull is very long…and thus takes a lot of strength to pull each time. I'm definitely going to have to get better at it.

After shooting we went to eat at FishDaddy's (I'd never been there but I had some good grilled tillipia) and headed back to his place to watch Lost. It was a great evening…and one I totally didn't expect!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Private: Private: Holding hands continued

So, I realized this weekend that I was being clingy. I think it was a mixture of not feeling well, not being completely sure of myself at Granddaddy and Grandmamma's but what ever it was, I was a clingy girl. I talked to David about it Saturday night and he said he had noticed it too. I hate that in myself, well, I hate it in anyone, so I decided that Sunday I would not initiate any physical touch. I didn't tell David, but it was a lot of fun to have him grab my hand or just reach out and touch me.

I asked him Sunday night if he had noticed that I didn't initiate anything, and he sat in silence for a second. He got this funny grin on his face and said…Well, I guess I can't blame it on you anymore. We had not touched quite as often, but definitely were holding hands most of the day…there hadn't been as much difference in the amount as he expected.

I'm glad to know it's not just me, and that he likes to hold my hand too. I like to hear it when he tells me that he likes me too…or to catch him with the little smile on his face that means he's thinking about me. I like it alot.

Private: Private: Update

I'll write more about this weekend tonight, but I just want everyone to know that we're holding hands now…and I like it. It's fun to be able to sit holding hands, in either a comfortable silence or talking about what's on our minds. It was fun to walk down the boardwalk in LA, shopping and holding hands. I don't understand why, but I like it. And if I were guessing, I think David likes it too.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Today

So, when I woke up this morning, I was focused on packing and getting to work on time. What I didn't realize was that this was July 1st. I mean, I knew it was the first day of the month, but I didn't put two and two together. Cause, you see, the first day of the month isn't just payday anymore…

I headed to work, and on the way stopped by the church to bring David a chai tea latte because he had be at work early…well, at least early for him. There wasn't anything different or special about today, just another busy, but short, Friday. That changed abruptly at 949am. A bouquet of purple flowers walked into my office. Ok, so my co-worker Jack brought them in, but they were gorgeous!

I was shocked and totally excited! My first bouquet of flowers as a girlfriend! True to form, there wasn't a card. I had to laugh out loud when I picked up the envelope which normally holds the card, and on the back of it was handwritten "No card on request by customer." I still didn't understand WHY I had received flowers, or if it was just because, but I was thrilled. I called David and asked if he sent me flowers…he laughed and said that he might have.

"Someday, you'll have to write something on the card."

"Yeah, maybe someday." As he said it, I grinned. "But, I figured that if you could survive a month dating me you deserved flowers."

"Oh my gosh!" I had totally forgotten! We started dating June 1st , which would make today a month!!! I couldn't believe I had forgotten - I'd thought about it all week! And he remembered! And got me PURPLE flowers! To quote my roommate, "Beam beam!"

To my chagrin, I had to leave my flowers in Austin while we spend the weekend in Louisiana. I was sad, but took pictures. I even posed with the flowers, I know, I'm a dork. But it's my first bouquet!!!!!!

Stay tuned for an update of LA and our weekend with his family. I'll let you know if they hate me.

ps. David, you did good.
(Yes mom, I know it's not perfect English, but it's for emphasis )